You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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