oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
