I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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