I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
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Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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