Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
