He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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