If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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