I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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