Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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