it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
