Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
