When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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