i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
