maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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