Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We left the knife in your bed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
