I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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