Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
