Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
