well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
