Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
