I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My breasts were aching with rage.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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