im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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