I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
