the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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