Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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