yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
