that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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