have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
