so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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