I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
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I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
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Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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