I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
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While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
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Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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