This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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