She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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