You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
