I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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