Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
