You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
