Umm I'm too high to move.
she woke up with a sticky ear
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
false alarm, still single
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
