I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He has the fingertips of a God
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