i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
