im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
