So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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