alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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