I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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