In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
