just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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