ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Oh god it's open bar.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
