I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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