so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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