We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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