Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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