return my video game
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
