On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
