he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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