i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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