Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
