He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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