butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Barsexuality is the new black.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
