Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
