not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
