the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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