I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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