My first STD was from a foam party
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
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Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
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But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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