Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
