so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
