The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
