so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
