Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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