You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
